Thursday 12 March 2009

How to get a football legend to insult a singer

At some point I will catalogue some of the arguments me + Chris have had about football. He's a bitter blue (i.e. supports Ev****n) whilst I am a glorious red (Liverpool). 

Ev****n have won very little of note in their many years of labouring under the misapprehension that they are a football outfit of note. However, I believe that in one of their very few trophy-winning years, they had in their employ a gentleman by the name of Andy Gray. In recent years he's found considerably more fame as a commentator and pundit on Sky Sports than he would ever have done playing for the blueshite. 

This striker, Scottish, stroppy, arrogant, Liverpool-hating, had always clearly been held by some affection by Chris H., which is understandable since "Ev****n players with winners' medals" is a very small mathematical subset. There aren't many choices for players to hold in high regard when it comes to that team. 

So, imagine my surprise when I saw him hanging around backstage at the Reading Festival a couple of years ago. I myself am a mere blagger in that respect and find it a congenial atmosphere for getting wasted and sunburnt. And there he was, this hero of Chris' - what's a friend to do? Surely get an autograph for a pal? 

Well, no. That would be dull. 

Instead, posing as an Ev****n fan (that's the level of disgrace I had to sink to to achieve this), I approached the Grayster and asked if, since autographs were boring, he'd have his photo taken with a sign instead. I showed it to him, he showed it to his wife, she laughed, he laughed, we all laughed, he posed for the photo. 

In the annals of getting one over on a mate, this one has to rank pretty fucking highly. It's more than two years ago, and it still makes me laugh like a fucking drain. Enjoy. 

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